Where Bitterness Grows, Ministry Dies.

As I was scrolling through Instagram, there it was…another post from a church in the area snapshotting the resources they were giving away to parents. I could feel the bitterness attempting to rise in me as I mentally computed the cost of a resource like that one. 

“If only I had more money in my budget…”
“If only I had as many staff members in my area…”
“If only I had as many volunteers…”

Bitterness tells us lies about ourselves and our ministry. Where bitterness grows, ministry dies. The only way to combat bitterness is to counter it with positive offensive thoughts and actions.

Be you.
When we try to weigh our ministry against another, the main thing we lose is our own identity. Every church has a different context in which they are doing ministry. We have to minister within our own context. We need to look at the makeup of the church we’ve been placed in along with the wiring God has placed in us. Does your ministry reflect that, or does it look like an imitation of another ministry? It’s fine to take ideas we see and use them but do so with your own “flavor.”

Be glad.
The ministry comparison trap is a dangerous one. It can rob us of all of our joy. As with life and with anything else, we need to learn to be content with what God has given us to be in charge of at this time. This is a hard one for me. My personality lends itself to constantly want more - the bigger the better. And if that's not what my is reflecting then I tend to ask, "What is wrong with me?"

God made no mistakes when he set you apart in your ministry at this time - no mistake. Have confidence that God has confidence in you. Have faith that God can use any person and any vehicle (whether big or small) to accomplish his purpose of making himself known. "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much." Luke 16:10a

Be helpful.
Nothing fights bitterness more than giving yourself away. No matter the stage or size of church we are in, we all have a way to pour back into others. Network online with other ministry leaders to share ideas. Meet with a local leader to discuss ministry needs in your community. Go to conferences and take time after a breakout to get to know someone. Be for someone else what you wish you had for yourself on your journey.

How do you combat bitterness when you’re tempted to compare?

Year Long Strategy for Preschool Small Groups

*These are my notes from the breakout I led at Orange Conference 2017!

How many of us soon realized after being hired as a preschool or early childhood director or assistant that you really don’t spend your days leading kids, but you actually spend them leading the people who lead the kids.

This is why it’s so important that there is a system or structure in place in your small group environments so that everyone can be on the same page about the expectations of those.

Structure: How you arrange or manage various parts so they can support something important.

How do you structure/arrange/manage staff, volunteers, programs, budget calendar, or even those who attend each week so everything supports a relational model within your preschool small groups? These are the behind the scenes decisions that you make that help set up your small groups to win.

The quality of your relationships is linked to the quality of your structure. That’s why we need intentional systems in place to help preschoolers grow in their relationship with God and to connect to a small group leader and to the other kids in their small group.

Structure allows you to go from accommodating your small group leaders to engaging your small group leaders.

These are 3 habits that will help us structure our preschool small groups:

Habit #1 Organize to be Organic (how you staff)

Relationships need structure, (think like dating) but structure isn’t the goal. The goal is relational connection. 

When we organize to be organic, we create a structure within our preschool small groups that have enough organization so that small group leaders can cultivate an environment where a preschooler feels safe to explore their world and connect with their leader and other kids.

1. Someone has to own it

You have 2 sides to your ministry: programming and groups. Programming is what happens on the stage while other people watch, the platform, your large group environment. Groups is what happens around our rugs or tables as leaders and kids interact.

Do you have someone who owns the preschool small groups within your ministry? Who determines it? Who pours into it? 

In my context, I determine the structure of the small groups, but I also have the children’s assistant and the children’s leadership team helping to steer and guide the groups.

Value of preschool/children’s leadership team: Invite your most committed volunteers to help guide and steer the direction alongside you.

2. Age changes the rules

The younger the age, the more structure is needed. The older the age, the less structure is needed.

Do you have consistent small group leaders? Anytime you have multiple services, the goal should be a consistent leader for every week for a year. Smaller churches with one service, I recommend month on/month off. 

Transition is difficult! “Sometimes it takes pain to make progress.”  - Craig Groeshel

Are you organized? I mean personally. Do you rush around at the last minute? Do you seem like you’re a couple of steps behind. You can’t expect timeliness and organization from your small group leaders if you’re not modeling it yourself. Do you have acertain time curriculum is out every week? 

What’s your schedule in small groups? Our service is 1:10. First 20 minutes Make It Fun (Intro Activities), 15 minutes for Make It True (Large Group), 30 minutes Make it Stick (activities that dig deeper) and Make It Real (circle time) 5 minutes

How is your room structured? Do you have a place to have rug time? Do you have less toys in room to distract?

What are your ministry policies/procedures? Handbook? Do your volunteers know your bathroom policies, snack policy, etc?

Do your SGLs get a say in the structure? I set the tone/structure, but a SGL has the ability to change and adapt

What are the “rules” of small group? Do kids know their responsibility within groups? ex. hands to self, listening ears, walking feet, inside voices, be kind to others

3. Everyone needs a good seat

• Fewer is better
• Preschool average should be 5-7 kids per adult

ex. we cap a room at 14 kids average with 2 adults, then we split

How does this work for smaller churches? How can you combine with the ages so everyone has a good seat?  Unique ages/stages -  infants, crawlers, walkers, 2s, 3s-5s

- Make sure new kids and families are welcome!

 Greet well (check-in experience). Walk don’t point to room. Introduce family and kids to SGL (remember names!). A SGL needs to have excitement when making introducing. Have the SGL introduce the new child to other kids. At pickup, SGL gives resources and explains them. Have the SGL write a card to the new kid to send that week.

Habit #2 Think Steps, not Programs

When you think steps, not programs there is a fundamental difference in your perspective. Your primary goal is not to meet someone’s need, but rather to help someone get where they need to go.

So do to that you must first determine what you want the kids and families to know. Then, you have to figure out how you’re going to get them there.

When we do parent/child dedications, we ask parents to parent with the end in mind. We want them to think about who they hope their children have become when they leave their house at age 18. We encourage parents to have a plan to accomplish this.

The same goes for your ministry. You have to begin with the end in mind and develop the steps to get kids and families there.

The most important thing you could do for your program is to clarify the primary win in your ministry before you can evaluate if a specific program is successful.

Our win: We want to give our preschoolers a first look at the God who made them, the God who loves them and the Jesus who wants to be their friend forever; we partner with parents to help them win in their homes

Sometimes you have to stop doing something that works if you want something more important to work better. 

Programs should make it easy, not hard, to participate and move on to what’s next.

Programs should be promoted in a clear way so people can actually see how and why they are important.

Programs should be strategic in the way they support the primary goal or priority of the ministry. 

1. Platforms enhance small groups

If we want parents, kids, small group leaders, etc to believe that small groups are important, then it’s important to take a look at what we’re saying about small groups across all of our platforms church-wide.

• cast vision - is the same message happening from the top down? Ex. Our volunteers serve month on/month off - we recognize them in service as coming off their rotation. We do Resource Sunday the first Sunday of the month and in service we show and describe the parent resources that are coming out that day that kids will get in their small groups
• manage time - When running short on time, always cut from your large group time, never your small group time. Our large group time consists of 15 minutes out of 1:10 service. 

It's easy to miss the Make it Real portion of the curriculum, but it is one of the most important -  It champions the importance of circling up!

2. Events solidify small groups

Always stabilize your small groups as 1st priority - Do that well and then move on to the next thing. 

FOCUS - Follow one course until successful

no random events -always ask, “Why are we doing this event?”

ex. We chose not to do big Easter egg hunt event because so many other churches were doing one. We chose to do Family Movie Night the Friday night after Easter because we wanted a follow up for guests after Easter

ex. baby dedication (EMBRACE) - next step for a family who had a baby. Ask family to attend class where they hear about entire family ministry, and they can connect to their SGL and can be loved on by the church.

3. Volunteers reinforce small groups

Baby dedication event — small group leaders help and attend

New baby visit with a gift - babies small group leaders make the visit

Those not in small group roles (ex. front desk/service coordinators) parents are preferred - they know the ministry, they may just need want to be in a room with kids

4. Resources support small groups

• Reallocate: Where does your money go?

Just like with your own personal finances, where you money goes says what you             prioritize.

Preschool seems to get a small budget.

Small vision = Small budget

We value: curriculum/small group resources, volunteers/leadership, Embrace, parent         resources

We don’t spend much on our large group environment - We want to spend money on small         groups. 

• Evaluate: Ask yourself, “Is this event working? Does it help us accomplish our goal? Does it take too many resources and is less effective? Every event we do as a Children’s Leadership Team, we discuss and evaluate it. As a preschool director, you need tough skin. “Jesus broke the traditions that value traditions over people.”

Habit #3 Move to the Rhythm

No one will influence a kid more than a parent.

A parent is not the only influence a kid needs. 

More people in a kid’s life who are moving to the same rhythm, the greater the impact. Need parents, families and SGL to move together.

Life and culture seem to move to rhythm. We need to learn to move with them. 

Even Moses described a rhythm to life we need to have in our parenting in Deut. 6.

1. Cooperate with the patterns of a typical year

• calendar - Holidays/seasons. We try to cue the parent to give them the right info at the right time so they can do more than they would otherwise do.

We try to have small group leaders resource parents around important calendar events - Easter and Christmas send out a lot of resources (Happy Birthday Jesus kits, Advent calendar for families, devotional for week leading up to the Easter Story- The Easter Story gave out a printable for families if you bought the book)

Go Weekly has a ton of resources for parents - ex. Quarterly Hang Times

How do you leverage the calendar to strengthen the group?

• community - Spring Break and Fall Break: no small groups (family services and church in the park)
• ministry - Promotion Sunday; new churches - summer is when people check you out

2. Consider the life cycle of an average group

• beginning - How do you help new kids or kids moving up to a new small group acclimate to SG?Introduction is important, but so is follow up! Kids love to get a treat and a card in the mail. Give small group leaders access to email the parents 
• end - How do you pass off to the next SGL? Need to do the transition well from 5s to kindergarten. It takes a month for a preschool to transition and get used to something new. Start introducing your elementary environment a month in advance before the transition.

Do you explain to your parents how a small group changes with the age? For example, our walkers stay in their room and we have some activities along with a craft and then they watch the Bible Story video in their class. When they graduate to the 2s, they have more structure in the curriculum and schedule. They “travel” to large group.

Structure communicates to small group leaders, kids and parents that a preschool environment is not just childcare - it's a ministry with a plan and a purpose. 

I highly recommend reading Creating a Lead Small Culture! That's where much of this breakout orginated from.

#OC17 Breakout Notes: Talk Better Now by Jon cuff

1. Know your audience

Who are the people you are serving? What are they excited about now? What are their challenges? What are their ages? Is there anything I should not say?

You want empathy, not mimicry. Empathize not mimic who they are. 

Practice your anxiety until it's manageable. The only way to not be afraid of speaking is to speak. 

Take notes on who the audience really is.

2. Play to your strengths

Write it all out  - Write out a long speech, word dump

Write quickly so the fear doesn't catch up quickly. 

Don't go to the internet for info - it will break your writing streak. 

There is no bad idea.

Never edit before it hits the paper.

Look for your outline in your word dump.

Predict pushback. 

63% more successful if you cut your goals in half.

The average slide had 40 words. You need tweetable lines for slides

Be as funny as you are in a dinner conversation. Nothing kills a speech like dishonesty. 

People react to authenticity and vulnerability. 

Leaders have a hard time saying - I was wrong, I don't know and I'm sorry. 

Give your audience the gift of going second. 

Use humor to relieve tension. Go up and down to keep people engaged. 

Hire a designer if you can for your slides. 

Write the ending as hard as you write the beginning.

3. Read the room

Get feedback.

The best moments are the ones that happen for the first time for the speaker and the audience. 

Create an inside joke - that's called a callback.

4. practice, practice, practice 

Practice with a timer and take notes. 

Ask everyone involved how much time you have 

5. Enjoy it or they won't.

Book recommendation - Speak like Churchill, Stand like Lincoln 

Speak in satire not mockery. Mockery has a victim. Mockery makes you lose the ability to speak in love later.  

My Ministry Prayer List

One of my most vivid memories of my grandfather is him sitting in his chair in his living room holding a steno pad with pages and pages of names. When he couldn't sleep because of the pain of arthritis and Parkinson's, he would open his steno pad and pray over the names on his list. In his final years when his body wouldn't let him do anymore, he did continuously what he could do for others - pray. 

What came so naturally for my grandfather comes a bit harder for me. I'm a doer. I like crossing things off my to-do lists. I like a finished product, immediate results.

Prayer is sowing seeds today and knowing we may never be the ones to see the results of it. That's hard for me. Sometimes prayer doesn't feel like I'm doing enough for my ministry or others.

But, without inviting God in, how can I expect it to be successful? That makes me nothing more than a lone ranger out doing my own thing.

I have found through leading preschool, elementary and family teams, that I need to consistently be praying for these 4 groups of people.

1. Our volunteers. Am I in touch with their struggles and their personal life? Do I know what to pray for them? They are the front line warriors in the ministry. Am I praying for God to use them each and every time they come in contact with kids?

2. Our kids in our ministry. Am I praying these kids would encounter a great God who would change their lives forever? Am I praying for their families? 

3. The kids we hope to reach in our community. There are so many kids and families all around our community who wake up and go to bed with no thought to who God is. Am I praying that God would our church and people to reach those far from God?

4. Our staff and leadership. Churches don't reach people through one ministry alone. Am I praying for the other ministries in our church and that God would use them in great ways? Am I praying for our leadership teams that they would be great men and women of God that are constantly seeking His Will for our church?

What names are on your list that you are praying for in your ministry?

What I Learned from Embrace

One of the most underrated tools for reaching families today is the parent/child dedication event.    There is no better time to get a family bought into your ministry than when they dedicate their child. It’s your chance to cast a vision for what the partnership between family and church will look like as families travel with you from cradle to college. 

I highlighted how I did dedications at our previous church in these posts:
First Steps part 1
First Steps part 2
First Steps part 3
First Steps part 4

When developing our parent/child dedication event, Embrace, at our current church, I had a few takeaways I learned from the experience. 
 

1. Content is still king. We base our entire event off of Orange’s Baby D kit. It’s a great tool to use when thinking your parent/child dedication event. You can take their content and customize it to fit your ministry’s needs. Graphics are included for those churches who may not have access to a graphic designer.

We took their 3 principles of Imagine the End, It’s a Partnership and Make It Personal and revamped them to fit our language for our event. Here’s our wording for what we want to call a parent to during our event.

We want parents to...
embrace your child with the love of Christ, focusing not on what you want your child’s future to be, but WHO you want them to become.
embrace your church as another voice in you child’s life, partnering with you to echo the message you’re instilling in your kids at home.
embrace your calling as a parent as the primary influence of faith and character in your child’s life.

2. Be sensible. These events can be as expensive as you want them to be. And while there are some things that are non-negotiable for me, there are some things that don’t rise in importance. In previous events, I would have used fresh flowers everywhere from the family tables to the food tables. This time around we decided to use cotton and magnolia leaves - it created a wonderful woodland feel. And better than that, is the fact that it was cheap! We chose to do a light dinner at our event in which in the past I had catered. This time, some sweet ladies helped to provide the meal. It connected women to the event that might have otherwise not been there. Plus, it was cost-effective.

3. Use the talent of those you have.

I love for families to be able to have a keepsake when they leave the event. There is a sweet lady in our church who is such a talented painter. I approached her about doing a canvas for each child with their name on it and the date they were dedicated. They turned out gorgeous, and it was such blessing to see someone be able to use their talents in such a lasting way.

We also have several photographers who lent their expertise to the night. One manned our Photo Booth we had set up for the family, and one took pictures of the details and event. Our parents were thankful to be able to concentrate on being in the moment rather than documenting the moment. It was a great gift to be able to give them these photographs after the event. 

4. Splurge on the important things. 

Some details are important to me that I find are worth the investment. In our parenting class before the event, we gave all of our parents three books - Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, From This Day Forward (marriage), and Praying Circles Around Your Child. We also give our parents a jar of marbles customized with their child’s birth date with a marble for every week they have left with their child before they go to college. We want parents to take a marble out every week so they can be reminded to make the most of the time they have with their kids.

Storytelling is important to our church family. For this reason, we have someone document the event in video. After the event, we put together a recap video celebrating the night. We then show that video in our service so our entire church family can celebrate what took place that night.

How do you celebrate parent/child dedication?

The Mirror

With every word she said, my heart broke into another piece.

“I just feel so ugly when I look in the mirror.”

She listed every feature on her beautiful head that she wished was different.

Really, now? Eleven years old and already the enemy is whispering lies to my little girl, leaving her feeling less than other girls her age.

I listed all the ways she was so beautiful - that I loved her freckles sprinkled across her nose, the pouty lips, her blue eyes. But, all of those features would be nothing without her heart, and she has one of the kindest, most thoughtful hearts on any girl.

I told her about how she is created in the image of God, and I read her the verses that told her how fearfully and wonderfully made she is.

And then I paused thinking back to earlier that day as I was getting ready. I looked in the mirror that morning and disappointingly saw a face bearing lines, chubby cheeks, and weight left over after four babies that I can never seem to lose like all of my friends.

I just feel so ugly when I look in the mirror.

So, I told my little girl that - I told her what I see when I look in the mirror, and how it makes me feel, and she cried heartfelt tears because she loves me and she doesn’t see what I see.  

With our kids, sometimes telling them the truth doesn’t seem to work. There are times Bible verses don’t feel like they work. It’s hard to hear what God’s Word says about you when those toxic thoughts are screaming so loud inside your head. It doesn’t make His Word less true; it only means those feelings right now are so very real.

She needed a “me too” at that moment. She needed to know that those feeling she’s struggling with are not isolated to only her. 

We’ll talk more in the days to come about how to combat the enemy's lies, how we can’t stay stuck in those thoughts because he knows that if he can get us to remain there, then he can get us to start making wrong choices and lead us down a path we’ll regret. 

And, I am reminded that my girls are watching, listening, for the words I say when I look in the mirror. Do my girls have a momma who lives out what she tells them to believe about themselves?

I am fearfully and wonderfully made, made in the image of a good God. But, do I truly believe it?

Fight for the Heart

We are extremely lucky to be the beneficiaries of an awesome little boy’s (with incredible fashion sense) clothes he’s grown too big to wear. Every season, we get a box full of shoes, socks, shirt, hats and pants and we all stand around like it’s Christmas morning and pull those precious clothes out of the box. My three-year-old was ecstatic over all the different clothes and preceded to want to try on everything. 

When he woke up on Sunday morning, he had a very different opinion about what he would wear than I did. I had picked out a rockin’ button down along with a great pair of skinny jeans. Cody decided that he was going to wear the Grinch hoodie along with a pair of fox houseshoes.  

Cue the chaos. 

After much “fighting” this momma conquered and won, and we as a family (plus one upset little boy) hopped into the car and made our way to church. 

Then, fast forward to me standing in a room that morning teaching a parenting class that was titled, “Fight for the Heart” - knowing the difference between fighting with our children and fighting for our children. As I’m going through my spiel, it strikes as what a hypocrite I am.

God’s funny like that…we’re teaching something to others as He’s gently tapping us on the shoulder saying, “Hey, you need to hear and know this, too.”

I had a chance that morning to fight for the heart of my child, but instead, I chose to “win” the argument with him. Are there times our kids need to do what we say? Absolutely! But, are there times we as parents need to concede because, in the long run, it’s just not worth it?

For me, this was one of those times where I knew he wanted to wear these clothes because he was truly excited and very proud of them. What would it have cost me to let him wear that outfit? Judgment from other parents? Maybe. My reasons for not letting him wear his outfit were more about me and my good than it was for his good. 

I want to be a parent who champions my kids in who they are, who God created them to be. As a parent, I’ve got to look at the situations I come across with my kids and ask myself, “Is this the battle I really want to fight?” 

There’s another battle going on for his heart, and an enemy who will “fight” to win his heart, too. He’ll use methods that I as a parent should have been using all along. One day when he’s older he’ll tell my son how he’ll accept and love him just as he was made, and my son will have to weigh the enemy’s words with my words and see if they match. If he sees a mom who didn't let his personality shine through and instead forced a behavior and rules, he may come to the conclusion I’m not a safe place where he is loved and treasured, and just maybe this enemy knows his stuff.

Let’s pick our battles wisely and fight for the things that matter - our kid’s heart. What are some “battles” you need to stop fighting with your kids?

*For more information on fighting for your kid's heart, grab a copy of Parenting Beyond Your Capacity!

Loving the Unlovable

There’s always that one kid in every class. You know the one. 

The one kid that never listens,
The one kid who is always disrespectful.
The one kid who can’t sit still.
The one kid who loves to make an outburst.

These kids are tough ones to love, or if we’re honest, they're tough to like.

But, we all need a safe place to belong … even a kid who’s body language and attitude speak a different story.

These kids are walking through our doors with stories. Mostly good ones, but some have stories and backgrounds that would make your hair stand on end. It’s our job as leaders to make sure everyone has a place to belong.

And while, there are many “classroom techniques” that can be used to help control a disruptive child, none works best than love. We need small group leaders who are going to look past the behavior and into the promise this child holds. 

Isn’t that what Christ does for us? He looks past our sin and baggage and sees the beauty within us.

We are called to love the unlovable - that means the lego-throwing, paint spilling, yelling biter in our small group. Especially that one. 

Love them through our words. 
Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Words matter, and words sting. I can still remember many of the hurtful things said to me by an adult “correcting” me. Choose to speak life into a child. You can correct without condemning.
 

Love them through our body language. 
Our words can say one thing, but our body language can betray us at that moment. Believe me, kids know. Saying gracious words with a scowl will leave a child unconvinced. Count to three, and put your whole heart it.

“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18

Love them through their parents.
Be careful of the words you chose to say to a child’s parents. No child wants to sit by as their small group leader lists all their transgressions from the morning. Does that mean we say nothing? Absolutely not, but make sure your motives are pure. When we partner with parents, we are committing to looking at every child like he is made in the image of God and he is welcome in our small group and our church. Don’t create a barrier between the church and a family.

How do you love the unlovable in your small group?

Grace Hill Church

When we officially launched The Hill 4 months ago, I could never fully imagine all God would do in such a short amount of time. The road to the launch of The Hill was one marked with pain, joy, doubt, assurance, loss and gain.

When we “planned” what our infant church would be, God worked details our small dreams never saw coming…a merger, a building, dear people. He also opened doors, we never knocked on and asked us to walk through them. It’s through the process of starting The Hill that I saw my husband adapt his vision to meet God entirely with where His vision was to take us.

These last four months have been a time of healing and restoration. I have come to love the families God has given us. They've been so good to us, beyond what we deserve. 

Today we shared some incredible news about the next steps we feel confident that God is asking our church to take. Once again, God opened a door we didn’t know to knock on, and the result is a partnership merger with a local church. The Hill Memphis and Grace Crossing Church will together become Grace Hill Church. We believe we can accomplish infinitely more together than we can apart.

Because that’s what it should be about for any body of believers - reaching the lost, reaching the unfound. Local churches in your area are not the enemy or the competition. I am so thankful God has put in our paths churches who believe the capital “C” church is way more important than the little “c” church. 

June 26 we will celebrate together in our first service. We will honor the God “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” 

He has been so good to us. May His hand and His blessing be with us in this next step.

#OC16 Various Speakers

Jon Acuff
On Sunday, grace is expected.
On Monday, grace is a surprise.

Jesus isn't just a Sunday Savior.
Jesus is an Everyday Emmanuel.

If you don't know someone's last name, don't share the gospel. The gospel is an intimate conversation.

Monday is coming and everyone is watching.

Jimmy Mellado
What is you existing culture?
What would we like it to be?

1. We want everyone to behave like they're here for a purpose. Like they have a mission. It's about people and results.
2. 100% for each other. Are you willing to risk your reputation on the performance of your teammates?
3. We're serious about growth - ours and yours. What are you learning?
4. We're careful with our words.
5. Let others in your life and plans.

How do you empower others? We live like Jesus  - we serve. 

Frank Bealer:
Lead Up
1. Be ready
Not a new
idea but a new approach

2. Be brief
Take 5 minutes. What and why and how it fits

3. Be smart
Know the questions and objections

4. Be passionate
Passion can be refreshing or overwhelming
Passion doesn't transfer as well as substance
Being smart without being passionate is boring. Being passionate without being smart is exhausting.

5. Be flexible
When you won't bend, most of your ideas break

Monday is Coming: You can Face it with Confidence: Perry Noble

Psalm 23

1. Understanding
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

If I will find my identity in my relationship with God, I'll survive the holy hangover of Monday.

Religion kills, relationships bring life.

If the Lord is your shepherd, your ministry has everything it needs right now.

If you can't be thankful for managing the $500 budget you'll never be entrusted with the $5 million budget

2. Environments
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters

We will not create great environments unless we experience great environments ourselves. 

Places here we get nourished

Psalm 46:10

3. Guidance
He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake.

When we get dehydrated spiritually, we will start using people instead of leading people.

When we get spiritually exhausted, we will stop doing what is right and start doing what is easy.

4. Awareness
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me.

When we begin to see the greatness of God, we'll become fearless in our decisions. 

5. Blessing
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You annoying my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Don't focus on the talkers. Focus on the table.

6. Confidence
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

If goodness and love will follow us all the days of our life, why can't we believe the best is yet to come?

Monday is Coming: What do you Want Students to do About It?: Doug Fields

We can't just teach them what to believe on Sunday...we've got to challenge them to serve on Monday. 

We can't just teach them what to believe on Sunday...we've got to challenge them to serve on Monday.

We don't want them to graduate with beliefs. We want them to graduate as a minister. 

What if we changed the yardstick from sitting to serving?

We count people because we're too lazy to figure out how to measure effectiveness and health.

I can get easily distracted by my ministry ambitions instead of my ministry calling...which is fueled by insecurity.

What if we changed our language and painted a verbal picture of what kids could be?

What if in still of calling them graduates, we call them ministers?
What if instead of telling kids they are the future of the church, we tell them they are the church.
What if instead of saying see you next week and bring a friend, you help them to serve someone during the week.

What a kid does affects what a kid believes. - Reggie Joiner

You don't disciple kids from a stage. You disciple kids up close.

We can't just tell them what to believe in Sunday, we have to teach them how to serve on Monday.

What if we changed our emphasis from Eternal Life when you die...to Kingdom Life while you're alive?

Jesus didn't say lead Me. He said follow Me.

You are never more like Jesus than when you serve. 

Navigating the Uniqute Tensions of Women in Ministry: Nina Schmidgall

Overcoming Barriers:
Our own self doubt
The "glass ceiling"
Door to entry
Finding family balance

Tips for Balance:
Embrace seasons: ask, Am I thriving?
Don't compare
Offer yourself grace
Double Standards
Embrace the awkward

Tips for leading women on your team:
Ensure collaborative work environments
Offer flexibility
Offer equal opportunity (give titles to women equivalent to men the titles men have)
Manage personalities, not genders
Take more time
Call out their gifting
Embrace the ministry of emotion
Invite them to the table of leadership
Lend your confidence

Excelling as women in leadership:
Stay in your lane. Avoid the comparison lane
Don't be entitled
Lead with confidence
Represent. Be excellent
Be you
Manage emotions: thick skin and soft heart
Be patient
Serve without an agenda
Cheerlead others

Clarify the Win for your Weekly Message: Frank Bealer

Refine the message: craft core truths into engaging, relevant and memorable experiences

How we communicate the the message is just as important as what we communicate.

Say Less
Simplify: what is the bare, core essentials you need to teach?
What do I want this child or student to become?

Say What Matters
Look at the felt needs.
Is this really helpful or relevant to this season of life?
Your ministry can die on the alter of your personal preference. -Jessica Bealer

Say It Clearer
We have the opportunity to say things in a way that can make a good impression, a bad impression or no impression at all.
The clearer we make the message the easier it till be to hand it off to parents and others to repeat it.
How are we being consistent with our values to make it clearer?

Don't Say It
Refine the message.
With children and students, we need to make sure we leave room for them to experience wonder, discovery and passion.
Sometimes we don't finish the equation for kids.

Say It Louder
Reinforce it, repeat it, find other angles and different ways to say it.
We have the best content, but we can't approach it like others think that way too.

Save a Life: Andy Stanley

The church is the hope of the world. Bill Hybels

The church saved my life.

The church:
1. Informed my conscience.
2. Instilled a sense of purpose.
3. Provides the context of lifelong friendships.
4. Served as a window into God's activity all over the world.
5. Taught me to be generous.

Don't attend a church that teaches your children to hate church.

Following Jesus will make your life better and make you better at life.

The church inspires us to embrace the one mandate that could change everything: Love your neighbor as yourself.

"I will build my church and the gates of Hades will not prevent it."

Redefining the Role of the NextGen Leader: Frank Bealer

NextGen is 80% generalist and 20% specialist whereas age-specific leaders are 80% specialists and 20% generalists.

Maximize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses.

6 Things a Next Gen Leader Gets to do:
1. Align key leaders
- take a step back to make sure one ministry is not undermining another ministry
- need unified language and vision casting

2. Champion every age group
- you are the ultimate marketer of every age group
- need to have someone from family ministry at the leadership table
- we have to unify our family values with the church values

3.  Gauge effectiveness and success
- go to youleadministry.com for a working document of the gauges

4. Assist ministry systems
- develop a metric system for success and working together
- evaluate the successes and wins
- make sure you're in line with the church

5. Expand Learning
- develop leaders: develop your staff
- have weekly one on ones with key ministry leaders
- key age group leaders need exposure to family ministry leader's decision making process
- meet for accountability
- we can often see gaps in people's leadership they can't see
- are you working through books and challenges with your staff?
- you need to be systematic about development

6. Partner with Parents
- when you send multiple messages to parents with kids in multiple phases (ministries), the parents will prioritize the phase and message of the kids who is struggling with the most
- must have a unified parenting strategy
- Elevation Church uses the language of faith-based conversations through all the phases. It's lens to keep consistency
- don't send mixed messages to parents

Reimagine What You Do: Reggie Joiner

Monday is coming: Reimagine what you do. Sunday never has to be boring, superficial, irrelevant, exclusive or disconnected.

You have to imagine someone's Monday before you can reimagine what happens on Sunday.

It's easy for us to drift into the kind of church that answers questions nobody is asking.

If you are just thinking about Sunday, you will...
Think about one hour
Measure success by who shows up
Recruit enough volunteers for every room
Make decision on who is coming
Say what matters to you
Challenge leaders to promote weekend programs

But if you are thinking about Monday, you will...
Think about what happens during the rest of the week
Measure by how many shows back up
Recruit a consistent leader for every kid
Make changes to reach who isn't coming
Say what matters to kids and teenagers
Challenge leaders to champion weekly values  

The truth matters, when love matters.
The truth matters, when kids know they matter to you.

Speak the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15
It's hard to speak the truth in love if you don't really know who you are speaking to.

It's not your job to fix anyone, it's your job to love them.
It's easier to speak truth than it is to love someone.
It's easier to correct what's wrong than to cultivate a heart.
It's hard to speak the truth in love, if you don't really understand someone's Monday.

Empathy is the ability to press pause on your own thoughts and feelings long enough to explore someone else's thoughts and feelings.

Empathy doesn't change the truth. It enhances the truth. Not having empathy waters down the truth.

Reimagine how to live with your door wide open.

Caring for the Private Side of a Monday- Saturday Leader for Sunday Health: Doug Fields

We spend so much time doing ministry that we forget to care for ourselves.

Are you going to last in ministry?

We train for long-tern leading the same way we train for a marathon.

Leaders tend to ignore the private side of their life…until it’s too late.

Hurry is the enemy of depth.

Signs your life might be out of balance:
cluttered appearance
low-level paranoia
leave a series of disappointments
excess time on easy or unproductive tasks
connections with Jesus or rare and lack depth
skimming in relationships
easily discouraged

Proverbs 4:23- "Above all else guard your heart, for it affects everything you do."

Areas within a leader’s soul:
Drive
Time
Study/Learn
Spiritual Strength
Refreshment
Calling

DRIVE
a driven person can often leave trail of bodies behind them.
1. Make authentic community a top priority
- Live on life community
- You have to seek out community
- It allows someone to question motive
2. Fast forward to life’s final scene
- relationships matter
- anyone can you do your job

TIME
1. Identify and track the rhythms of your time
- quit living in the guilt of being a nonmorning person
- time that is not budgeted flows to your like to do instead of your need to do
- time management is not about choosing between bad and good but between good and great
- every "yes" is a "no" to someone
- if you don’t control your time, others will.

STUDY/LEARN
Leaders need to be learners. When you stop learning, you stop leading.
1. Decide: Do I want to study, or do I want to skim?
2. Study for depth over prep

SPIRITUAL STRENGTH
We are spiritual leaders not activity directors.
Lead and teach out of an overflow.
1. Know your fuel and empty gauges
2. Schedule solitude
- Need to be able to discern between the voice of God and the voice of others.

REFRESHMENT
1. Take a day off and make it nonnegotiable
- God took a day off
- this is the antidote to busy
2.Unplug
- We’re over connected outside and underconnected inside.

CALLING
Called people have a strength from within - a perseverance and a passion
1. Be in touch with your own depravity
- “I am one decision away from tanking my calling."
2. Understand your own weaknesses
- anytime you compare, you lose

Leveraging Events Strategically Throughout the Year: Dan Scott

2 calendars: ministry calendar and family calendar

Why does it seem like these 2 calendars are always at odds with each other? We are busy!

5 Types of Events:
1. On-Ramp Events
- events created as invest/invite opportunities
- on-ramps lead to something bigger
- Ex. VBS, FX
- need to serve larger purpose of helping families to assimilate into the rest of the journey into church

2. Next Step Events
- events created to help kid understand decisions they want to make in their walk with God
- Ex. Family Birthday Celebration

3. Milestone Events
- events created to help parents and kids navigate the transitions to life
- navigating life transitions are difficult for any parent
- Ex. Preschool to kindergraten transition or 5th grade to Middle School
- You don’t want them to feel like they’re getting kicked out, but rather welcomed into another ministry

4. Small Group Events
- become closer when they share fun moments outside of Sunday morning
- Ex. Boot Camp - incoming 6th grade retreat fro them to hang out with new small group leaders

5. Celebrations
- events created to celebrate big events
- fun should be #1 priority
Ex. Easter, Xmas, Volunteers

Questions to ask yourself in planning:
1. What is the purpose of this event?
- decide the outcome of your event
- write it down and plan it out

2. Who are the people you hope will attend?
- based on the end in mind, target the people who will get the most out of the event
- let the know the event exists (takes 7-12 times of saying/seeing it in marketing to get the person’s attention)
keep in mind, when multiple events overlap or come close to each other when you’re targeting the same demographic, the church competes against itself.

3. What time is the best time of the year for your event?
- not every event will work at any time of the year
- coordinate events across your church ministries

You only have so much time and money. Use them to create strategic events that impact beyond the event itself.